The painful truth for many trauma and abuse survivors is that dissociation began in childhood or after their traumatic exposure. It became part of their sense of self and safety—so much so that they often don’t recognize it as something separate from their normal experience.
This is why education is so important. Survivors need to understand that dissociation isn’t weakness or brokenness. It’s the brain’s way of protecting you when life was too overwhelming to process. Sometimes, the brain parks you in the corner, and you end up watching your life unfold like a movie—either in fast forward or slow motion—as if you’re a stranger to your own story.
You’re not broken. Your brain just found a way to keep you going.
“Dissociation isn’t disconnection—it’s protection. But healing begins the moment you realize you deserve to come back home to yourself.”
Such a powerful and illuminating read. The distinction between Freeze and Submit was especially eye-opening, and the way you described invisibility as a survival strategy really stayed with me. Thank you for bringing such clarity and compassion to this topic.
Thank you Karina! Most people conflate Submit and Freeze and just call it the freeze response, but neurologically they are different and so we work with them differently. It’s one of the reasons I love this model so much.
I have been very close to the submit response, but was fortunate enough to pull myself out one step at a time. Unfortunately, I had no one to hold or help me, but I knew I had to save myself. Hope was still alive in me, but temporarily hidden.
I can’t share my story right now 😭 but will later in hopes that it will help others.
Dear Vickie, please never feel you need to share your story until you feel absolutely ready. Submit does not want to be forced! I am so sorry that you had no one to hold or help in those painful moments but it is so important that hope remained alive and protected. You are not alone. I have worked with many who have been there and found their way back, and I have been there myself. Sending you warm energy and comfort in whatever way feels safe for you to accept. 💜
Drug addiction and addicts are misperceived by sober folk as being weak-willed and/or having committed the moral crime.
Decades ago, I, while always sympathetic, also looked down on those who had ‘allowed’ themselves to become addicted to hard drugs or alcohol. Although I’ve not been personally or familially affected by the opioid overdose crisis, I have suffered enough unrelenting PTSD symptoms to have known, enjoyed and appreciated the great release upon consuming alcohol or THC.
The unfortunate fact about self-medicating is: the greater the induced euphoria or escape one attains from it, the more one wants to repeat the experience; and the more intolerable one finds their non-self-medicating reality, the more pleasurable that escape will likely be perceived. In other words: the greater one’s mental pain or trauma while not self-medicating, the greater the need for escape from one's reality — all the more addictive the euphoric escape-form will likely be.
When substance abuse is due to past formidable mental trauma, the lasting solitarily-suffered turmoil can readily make each day an ordeal unless the traumatized mind is medicated. Not surprising, many chronically addicted people won’t miss this world if they never wake up.
Thank you for your thoughts Frank. I do feel that I need to clarify that the Submit response is not at all connected to addiction. That defense lives within Flight.
The painful truth for many trauma and abuse survivors is that dissociation began in childhood or after their traumatic exposure. It became part of their sense of self and safety—so much so that they often don’t recognize it as something separate from their normal experience.
This is why education is so important. Survivors need to understand that dissociation isn’t weakness or brokenness. It’s the brain’s way of protecting you when life was too overwhelming to process. Sometimes, the brain parks you in the corner, and you end up watching your life unfold like a movie—either in fast forward or slow motion—as if you’re a stranger to your own story.
You’re not broken. Your brain just found a way to keep you going.
“Dissociation isn’t disconnection—it’s protection. But healing begins the moment you realize you deserve to come back home to yourself.”
Yes yes yes, thank you Umu. I also wish there was more education about this so there would be less self blame and shame.
Great insight--beautifully written and read!
Thank you Bob 💜🙏💜
Such a powerful and illuminating read. The distinction between Freeze and Submit was especially eye-opening, and the way you described invisibility as a survival strategy really stayed with me. Thank you for bringing such clarity and compassion to this topic.
Thank you Karina! Most people conflate Submit and Freeze and just call it the freeze response, but neurologically they are different and so we work with them differently. It’s one of the reasons I love this model so much.
I have been very close to the submit response, but was fortunate enough to pull myself out one step at a time. Unfortunately, I had no one to hold or help me, but I knew I had to save myself. Hope was still alive in me, but temporarily hidden.
I can’t share my story right now 😭 but will later in hopes that it will help others.
Dear Vickie, please never feel you need to share your story until you feel absolutely ready. Submit does not want to be forced! I am so sorry that you had no one to hold or help in those painful moments but it is so important that hope remained alive and protected. You are not alone. I have worked with many who have been there and found their way back, and I have been there myself. Sending you warm energy and comfort in whatever way feels safe for you to accept. 💜
Drug addiction and addicts are misperceived by sober folk as being weak-willed and/or having committed the moral crime.
Decades ago, I, while always sympathetic, also looked down on those who had ‘allowed’ themselves to become addicted to hard drugs or alcohol. Although I’ve not been personally or familially affected by the opioid overdose crisis, I have suffered enough unrelenting PTSD symptoms to have known, enjoyed and appreciated the great release upon consuming alcohol or THC.
The unfortunate fact about self-medicating is: the greater the induced euphoria or escape one attains from it, the more one wants to repeat the experience; and the more intolerable one finds their non-self-medicating reality, the more pleasurable that escape will likely be perceived. In other words: the greater one’s mental pain or trauma while not self-medicating, the greater the need for escape from one's reality — all the more addictive the euphoric escape-form will likely be.
When substance abuse is due to past formidable mental trauma, the lasting solitarily-suffered turmoil can readily make each day an ordeal unless the traumatized mind is medicated. Not surprising, many chronically addicted people won’t miss this world if they never wake up.
Thank you for your thoughts Frank. I do feel that I need to clarify that the Submit response is not at all connected to addiction. That defense lives within Flight.