If I Go Deep
If I go deep into the cold, dark
rough waters…
If I go deep will I find a Rock?
Will I find a rock to hold onto
like seaweed, flowing with the tide
If I go deep will I find a reef
to tear a hole in my side
and leave me to rot
and be eaten by the fishes?
If I go deep will I find a silver light and the kingdom of the
Mermaids
to take me to another land far
away…
If I go deep will I find a Rock?
I will sing with the Western Wind
I will bathe in the moonlight
I will make friends with the white caps
I will swim with dolphins
I will go down
I will search
I will not die.
I wrote this poem when I was in graduate school for counseling psychology. One of our required classes was poetry therapy, and I did NOT want to attend.
You see, I used to write poetry as a child as a way to try to understand painful experiences. I was terrified that the invitation to write poetry again would open up old wounds. I wanted to keep those wounds safely buried and closed off.
The poetry class did indeed open up old wounds, but in a new and cleansing way.
I realized that I could dive into the shadow territory of my mind and heart and find new sources of hope and resilience there, what Jung called the Golden Shadow.
If you are interested in poetry as a healing modality, I highly recommend Poetic Medicine by John Fox. He led the class and is truly magical in his ability to help even the most reticent connect with their deeper truths. John also founded the Institute for Poetic Medicine and leads periodic workshops.
In "If I Go Deep," you thoughtfully highlight the tension between confronting our vulnerabilities and the fear of what might surface. The way you frame this internal battle provides a new lens through which to view personal growth—one that encourages acceptance of both our light and shadows. It’s a beautiful reminder that going deep within ourselves is often the key to unlocking true healing. Thank you for this meaningful reflection!
"The poetry class did indeed open up old wounds, but in a new and cleansing way." Such an important distinction between opening wounds in old and triggering ways vs. new and cleansing ways. Thanks for sharing!